我的书架上有一个金字塔，从上到下落着大小不等的4本书，汉英词典、物理课本及两本圣经。我最喜欢汉英词典那朱红色的封皮。它位于金字塔的最顶端。翻开来看时，密密麻麻的方正汉字和印刷体的英语释义，暗示了我的两个身份：东西方的结合体。我是一个具有菲律宾血统并加入美籍的中国人。在我的家庭聚餐上，我最爱的吃的就是奶酪汉堡、月饼还有东南亚最流行的春卷。不同于当地的美国孩子，我吃牛排的时候，通常是筷子和刀叉混合使用。我相信即使进入大学校门，我一定是一个与众不同的学生，一手拎个面包机，一手缠个电饭煲。我喜欢音乐，不管是中国、日本的流行音乐还是门德尔松中提琴的西方古典乐，我都来者不拒。春天，我参加学校组织的赛艇活动，划龙舟。到了过新年的时候，和东方孩子一样，拱手作揖，祝父母“恭喜发财”期待着那个装着“绿色”钞票（美金）的压岁钱。而这一正一反恰似中国传统“阴”“阳”学，一推一拉，和谐的构建了今天的独特的我。我是一个复杂体（halo-halo），菲律宾语的意思是复杂再加复杂，相当复杂。
汉英词典下面是一本超级不可思议的书籍，猜不到吧！物理课本。一本通向遥不可知的隐形装置和量子计算机的时代。这也是我热衷科学的原因：创造未知的明天。我的身边，大到无限的宇宙，小到隐形的粒子，皆通过科学规律展示自己的优雅。我的身体就像是一个庞大的培养皿，里面充斥了大量的特殊细胞，他们相互结合或吞并，反应异常的激烈。既然无法逃脱，我也没想要逃脱，那就张开双臂拥抱沉浸在纳米技术的神奇世界里吧。第一次深入探究它是在韦尔奇夏季学者项目研究上。那超乎想象的精准吓到了我。我亲自操纵着纳米粒子的组织层，随意的改变其属性。只需点击一下鼠标，我就拿到了“原子快照”的样板，这样方便我以后研究分子团簇。我相信纳米技术一定是未来的高科技，位居海浪的尖端，我希望到那时，我可以站在高科技的前段，乘风破浪。我幻想可以设计一个程序，发明一架“纳米机器人”，修复人类受损的心脏和神经。我可以发明一种无创伤手术，通过移植纳米芯片，剔除人体癌细胞。当我一页页的翻看着这本书，想象的一切早已勾画在了书页的留白处。
最底端压着我的精神支柱，无疑就是圣经了。它映射了我内心深处最坚固的道德底线。它如此珍贵，无论我走到哪里，都会把它带在身边，提醒着我的价值。圣经夹杂在其他叠落的书籍中，它见证了我做人的原则，让我能够更自信的走好人生的每一步，同时坚信着我寻找真理的渴望。这种渴望激发着我深藏深处蠢蠢欲动的爱心，鼓励我积极参加社区服务，帮助那些无家可归、身体残疾的人们。每个星期六的早上我都会去达拉斯附近的儿童医院做义工。慈善之心驱使我勤俭节约，只有这样，我才能有剩余捐给中国四川地震的灾民们。为了让大家更加团结一致，我积极参与校纪律委员会的选举，坚持维护学校的荣誉，惩处违规的学生。经历的多了，见证了现实中太多的残酷和不完美，我变得更加谦卑。无论生活如何改变，我还是我，我的价值观依然如旧。它只会不断的提升我，让我更加完美。
我的书塔就像一座迷你“金字塔”，每一页、每一本都是奠定成功金字塔的基石：我的书籍、我的激情、我的观念形成了今天的我。在很多时候，我喜欢坐在图书馆里，从纪实文学到经济类书目，从戏剧到悬疑题材不等。而在生活中，度过每一天，我都在撰写自己的故事。每一个片段都是浪漫的、神秘的、充满冒险的经历。因此，如果有一天，有人说我像一本书的时候，我一定会雀跃的与他击掌，“很高兴认识你”。
【ESSAY赏析】
这篇ESSAY通过很朴实的表达塑造了作者的人物性格。作者抓住一个点“书籍”描写，让读者感受到了他的“热情”、“财产”、“灵魂”。尤其是开头作者举出的一系列例子，非常写实的将读者深陷其中。
在大叠的申请文书里，招生官往往会阅览形形色色的人物，因此，最独特的才能一击制胜。这篇ESSAY却恰到好处的做到了这一点。记住：读者也好，招生官也好，不会花几个小时的时间去浏览，通常都是几分钟时间，所以，一定要写的有趣生动，让人印象深刻。
另外一方面，作者引用圣经那段写的真是淋漓尽致，感情充沛。信仰如何改变自己的心态，积极的面对生活的挑战、树立积极的生活目标。总而言之，作者笔下塑造的人物形象活灵活现，方方面面都很到位。
虽然这篇ESSAY堪称一篇佳作，但文中还是存在一些问题，如：语法错误，如：“my obsession in nanotechnology”。虽然和全文相比，可以忽略不计，但这里主要是提醒后来人ESSAY 写完后，一定要通读几遍，不要犯一些太明显的错误。要知道这段时间的修改将造就一个美好的四年大学生活，很值得。
简言之，这篇ESSAY人物塑造得相当给力。虽然文章中出现了一些敏感词汇：种族、宗教，但作者处理得很合适。并且在文章末尾再一次点明：自己是谁？来自哪里？未来的方向？作者文中引用自己的亲身经历，更加掷地有声的阐明了自己的聪慧、能力和身世。整体而言，人物成功的塑造就是大学录取最有效的部分。
—Elias Shaaya
参考原文
(24)ANDREW PACIS WONG GONZALES—“ZIGGURAT”
On my desk are four books stacked in order of size. My Chinese-English dictionary, with its striking vermillion cover, grabs my attention. Its pages, filled with flowing Chinese characters and rigid English print, remind me of the two cultures that shape me—East and West. I am a Chinese, Filipino Texan. On family picnics, I enjoy cheeseburgers while stuffing my face with moon cakes and lumpia, Filipino egg rolls. I use both chopsticks and a knife when eating steak. I am that student who will jump into college with one arm wrapped around a toaster and the other lugging a rice cooker by its electrical cord. I tap my feet to Chinese and Japanese pop, as well as strut my viola to classical Mendelssohn tunes. In the spring, I row in my school’s crew team and participate in dragon boat races. For New Year, I greet my parents: “kong shi fa chai,” expecting to receive a red Chinese envelope filled with green American dollars. My eastern and western backgrounds are like yin and yang, pushing and pulling, weaving the harmonious whole that is me. I am a halo-halo, a Filipino word that means mixture within a mixture.
Underneath my dictionary lies Physics of the Impossible. Its pages peer into the distant future of invisibility cloaks and quantum computers. This book expresses why I love science: its ability to improve the future. My surroundings, from the infinite cosmos to the invisible atoms that compose it, derive their elegance from scientific laws. My body is a mammoth Petri dish, a conglomerate of specialized cells, bubbling with energetic reactions. Since I cannot escape science, I fully embrace it by my obsession in nanotechnology. I first delved into this world while conducting research at the Welch Summer Scholars Program. I was struck by the unbelievably precise control I had over the environment. I manipulated organized layers of nanoparticles, changing their properties at will. With the click of a mouse, I took “atomic snapshots” of my samples, allowing me to study arrangements of molecular clusters. I believe nanotechnology will be the wave of the future, and one day, I hope to be at its forefront, surfing that wave. I envision creating computer programmed “nanobots” that can repair damaged heart and nerve tissues. I could engineer a noninvasive surgery by strategically placing “nanochips” in the body that would single out and destroy cancer cells once detected. The possibilities appear endless as I pull out my book and scribble my dreams onto its margins.
At the bottom, my hefty study Bible supports the entire stack. It mirrors my sturdy moral foundation. My precious pocket Bible sits at the top of the stack. I always carry it, as I do my values. Together, the Bibles sandwich the other books in the pile. They demonstrate how my principles keep my passions in check, enabling me to walk discerningly through life, while simultaneously seeking truth and knowledge. The desire to serve motivates me to be involved in community service, to aid the homeless and the disabled. It is compassion that empowers me to rise every Saturday morning to volunteer at a pediatric hospital in Dallas. Charity compels me to save my allowance in order to donate several hundred dollars to earthquake victims in Szechuan, China. With integrity, I serve as chairman of my school’s Discipline Council, charged with the task of upholding the school’s honor code, recommending penalties to those who violate it. The awareness that I am imperfect and that life is fleeting keeps me humble. No matter how life changes, my values remain the same. They give me the motivation to improve myself and others.
My books tower like a miniature ziggurat, each work adding a distinct step to the terraced temple’s overall structure. Similar to my books, my passions, insights, and ideals form the individual building blocks that establish my identity. In many ways, I am akin to a library, filled with nonfiction stories and distinctive accounts that vary in drama and suspense. Over the course of a lifetime, I write my own unique plots through my daily actions. Each moment is a romance, mystery, or adventure waiting to be read. So next time someone says he can read me like a book, I will vigorously pump his hand and say, “Pleased to meet you.”
COMMENTARY
This essay earns points for framing the applicant through original means. By seizing on treasured books to narrate, the applicant gives the reader a real sense of his passions, heritage, and aspirations. The series of examples he gives, particularly at the beginning, carry a real momentum that propels the reader through the essay. In a pile of applications, admissions officers will see dozens upon dozens of essays touting multicultural identities. It’s crucially important to stand out. This essay accomplishes that aim by putting forward a thought-provoking metaphor for the applicant. Remember always that readers spend minutes, not hours on your writing. Be interesting.
Another particularly compelling portion of the essay is the treatment of spirituality embodied by the two Bibles the writer owns. He explains how his Christian morals and principles allow him to navigate through life’s challenges and give him a sense of purpose. Overall, the multiple layers of the author’s identity shine through in the essay and make the applicant seem alive and approachable.
Though the applicant obviously won the admissions officers in the end, it is worth noting that the essay suffers from grammatical errors (“my obsession in nanotechnology”). Certainly, such flaws are not enough to completely discredit an otherwise compelling essay, but applicants should take the time to carefully proofread their pieces before submission to make sure that small mistakes do not aggregate into a larger problem with the writing. It is worth your time to check for grammatical consistency in a piece that can tip the scale on where you spend the next four years of your life.
Briefly, this essay serves as a great introduction to the writer. It deals with sensitive topics such as race and religion, but in the end gives the reader a great sense of who the applicant is, where he comes from, and where he intends to be in the future. The writer’s anecdotal examples make his voice better heard in the essay, and he uses this voice to display his talent, potential, and originality. Overall, the essay describes what is most important to and about the applicant, which makes it an effective component of a college application.
—Elias Shaaya
