如果给我一滴水，我将倾其一片海。如果你给我一片红叶，我将还你整个枫林和云彩。我这个人喜欢笑也喜欢搞笑并热衷于学术。我尊重身边的一切事物。我的生活就像一张蜘蛛网，所有的感情、经历、外界、感觉错综复杂的紧紧的缠绕在一起，解不开。而我本人就像一个成型的雕塑一样：身高1.75米，体重132斤，鞋码45号；黄色皮肤，黑色卷发，棕色眼睛（典型的中国人）。生活乐观积极向上只是缺少一点儿先见之明。天生左撇子但喜好右手疾书。作为人，我具有人的特性：充满激情的创新思维。但，实践在生活中则适可而止。我生在中国，长在美国。我就是一个矛盾体，超级经典的比喻吧！
在营养丰富的湖里钓鱼是我的爱好；追求像魔方一样变化万千的生活方式是我的态度；记忆周期表中的化学元素是我的目标；尽力抓住每一次的机遇是我的目的。我是个完美主义者，是莎莉自制蛋糕（Sara Lee homemade cakes）的烘焙师，与我的小提琴组成了最佳的完美拍档。知识是永恒的真爱，嫉妒是致命的鸩毒，霹雳舞是难解的痴迷。我曾一次在校报担任专栏作家，2次获得知识杯冠军，3次获得全拉美考试冠军，4次获得乐器演奏比赛初中级重量级冠军。心理学知识分析我的行为，生物学知识决定我的天性，文化知识培养我的社会意识。白天我是一名学生，晚上我则抱着自己喜好的喜剧看。我生活在一个奇怪的“规律体系”中（这种规律控制的是人的思想而不是行星轨道）。我用生命来爱着喜剧。我也学着将一切不好的行为都撒在家里。我知道沃尔多在哪里，一直都知道。我开始注意纠正每一个语法错误；尽量矫正口齿不清的毛病，如“V”的发音；慢慢习惯游泳池里散发出来的氯气的味道。我爱玩一些小聪明；对待一件事情的认知能力也是在一段时间里。我素日喜欢吃的都是垃圾食品，不利于健康；我钟爱的体育项目不受北美大众的支持与赞许。对于自我认识的寻找已经给我自己带来了一连串原则性的问题。但是，我已经时刻准备着拨开生活中混沌的迷雾，开辟出一条大道。
我的理想驱使我向前，红牛带给了我无限的能量。我的喜剧技能的多样性就像收集Pokémon游戏卡片一样。做艾伯佐夫反应（Arbuzov reactions）实验的时候没有最尖端的仪器设备相配；整合超越函数不能使用计算器；可以毫不犹豫的向一个陌生人进行拉丁演讲。我讨厌重复冗余和像瘟疫一样陈词滥调的说法。我符合大众的口味，但是喜欢挑战特立独行。我是有感情、有希望、有梦想的我。我就是Chi,Zhang。
释义：
（1）Waldo，法国宗教领袖，瓦尔多教派的创建者，于1184年被逐出教会。
（2） Arbuzov reactions，亚磷酸三烷基酯作为亲核试剂与卤代烷作用，生成烷基膦酸二烷基酯和一个新的卤代烷。
（3）超越函数(Transcendental Functions)变量之间的关系不能用有限次加、减、乘、除、乘方、开方表示的函数。
ESSAY赏析
分析了这么多ESSAY写作，获悉大部分申请哈佛的学生面临最大的问题就是选题。但是，在这位申请者的ESSAY，达到了面面俱到。如此，他细致的描写生活中的每一部分就像列简历一样。申请者在写作的时候的弊病是详尽的描述生活的每一个细节，殊不知这种流水账式的表达对文章整体而言，意义并不大。但是，作者巧妙的通过细节表达自己的特质达到整体指引的功效。
作者的成功之处主要在于精妙的选词以及话题的选择。文中选取了很多充满童趣的有意思的例子，如：莎莉自制蛋糕、魔方以及Pokémon游戏卡片等；另一面又表达了自己对未来的憧憬以及丰富的课外活动。他没有一一说明每一个环节，而是将全文流展的很漂亮，读者跟着他的思路一路下来，就像经历了一场同作者一起的涉猎“搞笑”之旅。作者最成功的地方不是取悦于读者，而是通过对每件事情的描写，让读者直接清楚的看到自己喜好什么讨厌什么。
更重要的是，作者不畏惧坦白自己的缺点。通过全方位立体的展示人物性格，让人们更容易从中看到一个最普通、直面的自我。作者坦诚的交代自我研究分析给他留下了一连串的基本原则问题；以及个人对垃圾食品的喜好还有本身的不正常的肤色。不同于其他申请者，作者在文中极力想表达的就是如何在页面上呈现出一个最真实的自己。作者清楚明了的告诉大家，他还没有完全剖析自己，但却时刻准备着拨开混沌的生活给出明确的指引方向。他主动承认自己的缺点并努力让自己变得更好。
但即便如此，并不是说大家都可以这样随心所欲的书写。我们都认可创新型的写作以及有效的刻画出的人物形象，但是，重复到一点，这种流水账式的写作方式会大大削弱文章的陈述。每一次陈述的内容，背后都隐藏着一个冲击。这种ESSAY的缺点即作者无法通过具体的事件描写刻画人物性格。但是，就这篇ESSAY而言，成功的表现出了作者纯熟的写作能力与技巧以及整体刻画人物性格的能力。
—Esther Yi
原文参考
(12)CHI ZHANG—“SIMPLE SENTENCES”
If you give me an inch, I’ll convert it to centimeters, feet, and fathoms. I’m a lover of laughter, a purveyor of puns, and an ally of academia. I look up to everything and down at nothing. My life is a tangled web of emotions, experiences, and externalities, a smorgasbord for the senses. I’m a quantitative sculpture: My height is five feet nine inches; my weight is 145 pounds; my shoe size is ten. I’m a qualitative figurine: my eyes are brown and oval; my hair is black and wavy; my body proportion is an affront to the golden ratio. I live forward but perceive the world in hindsight. I’m a natural lefty but write with my right hand. I fall prey to the passions and whims that define humanity but practice moderation. I’m Chinese by birth but American by choice. I’m a paradox, an enigmatic trope for all things ideal and inane.
Fishing in an algae-infested lake is my hobby; Rubik’s Cubing is my lifestyle; memorizing the periodic table of elements is my goal; making the most of every opportunity is my purpose. I’m a pundit of trivial matters, a master baker of Sara Lee homemade cakes, and a symphonic partner to my violin. Knowledge is my true love, envy my ultimate bane, and break-dancing my primary obsession. I’m a one-time columnist for the school newspaper, a two-time Knowledge Bowl grand champion, a three-time gold medalist in the National Latin Exam, and a four-time junior middle-weight champion in finger jousting. Psychology explains my behaviors, biology determines my physical characteristics, and culture molds my social consciousness. I’m a student by day and sitcom aficionado by night. I live by the law of eccentricity (the one governing uniqueness, not planetary orbits). I have sold my soul to comedy and have learned to leave my inhibitions at home. I know where Waldo is. Always. I’m averse to grammatical solecisms, prone to lisp my V’s, and redolent of chlorine from swim practice. My talents take sick leaves at inopportune moments, and my true cognitive abilities kick in only after curfew. My favorite foods are detrimental to my health, and my favorite sports team isn’t broadcast in North America. My search for self-identity has left me questioning fundamental tenets. But I navigate the wending traffic of life with blinkers at the ready.
I’m driven by ambition and fueled by Red Bull. My repertoire of skills is as diverse as my extensive collection of Pokémon cards. I conduct Arbuzov reactions without state-of-the-art apparatus, integrate transcendental functions without a calculator, and give stirring Latin orations to strangers without hesitation. I cringe at repetitive redundancy and avoid clichés like the plague! I am a friend to all and a foe to none. I am a vessel for emotions, hopes, and dreams. I am Chi.
COMMENTARY
With so many life-changing experiences and impressive talents under their belts, most applicants to Harvard face the obstacle of determining which subject will make for the best essay. But in this applicant’s case, everything is important enough to include. In doing so, he risks generating an incoherent essay merely held together by the desire to boast about every minute detail that comprises his impressive resume. Applicants often feel obligated to share all positive aspects of themselves, but such an exercise can water down an essay into meaningless fluff. Yet, the writer largely succeeds in writing an engaging essay that utilizes everything from his amusing idiosyncrasies to his guiding passions.
The applicant’s success largely stems from his creativity in language and choice of topics. He touches upon his more obscure, almost childlike, interests—Sara Lee homemade cakes, Rubik’s Cube, and Pokémon cards—and also addresses his deeper passions: his desire to push ahead into the future and his various extracurricular activities. He doesn’t spend much time on each point, and thus his essay moves forward efficiently, taking the reader through a rather comprehensive journey of his serious interests and his more silly dabblings. The writer does not impose his accomplishments upon the reader and instead states what he likes and what he doesn’t, simply and effectively.
Most importantly, the applicant is unafraid to reveal his shortcomings, painting a three-dimensional character that could have been easily reduced to a flat, stereotypical applicant. With admirable frankness, he concedes that his “search for self-identity has left me questioning fundamental tenets,” and he is quick to acknowledge his penchant for unhealthy food and his body’s nonconformity to the golden ratio. Indeed, unlike many other applicants, the writer uses the personal essay not to boast of his myriad achievements, but to give his personality a true-to-life roundness that transcends what appears on a piece of paper. He makes it clear that he doesn’t assume that he’s got life all figured out—rather, he is willing to “navigate” the “traffic of life with blinkers at the ready.” This is an applicant who readily admits his faults and weaknesses to the service of showcasing his most compelling strength: his desire to become more than he already is.
But it’s not advisable to use this applicant’s approach with freewheeling abandon. One cannot deny the creativity of his essay and its efficacy in portraying an engaging character, but the repetitive, listlike nature of the essay often detracts from the power of each statement. The more varied points there are, the weaker the punch behind each point. The risk of this essay’s approach is that it dilutes the writer’s character by not focusing and expounding on a specific area of his life—but given this essay and its diverse array of subjects, it’s hard to remain unconvinced by this applicant’s ability to cohere all of the points into a persuasive character.
—Esther Yi
